Evolution

Entry 4.25.20 11:34am

I hope that you and yours are well!

Choosing to step away from the mind boggling thoughts promoted by our current circumstances worldwide, I had a few other thoughts come to mind this morning that impact many women on a large scale. Decided to share with you!

As young girls and women we oftentimes look to our Moms and see everything that we wish we were or set our focus on the traits/conditions that we see in or around them that we hope not to model nor take into our own lives. As children we don’t see or understand the reasoning behind certain choices or outcomes so we draw our own conclusion and make vows to ourselves concerning what we will or will not do in the future... this is usually done without the true emotional bandwidth or maturity needed to even make these vows.

I’ve certainly done it more than a time or two.

I’ve looked at my life and seen how it may closely mirror my Mom’s and how similar life situations appear to also have like turning points or decisions to be made. I’ve wished that my Mom were stronger, provided more clarity during my adolescent years and made the decision to stay married to my Father so that I could have a two-parent household....sounds like I expected much more self-sacrifice, not knowing how much she already sacrificed ... but the reality is, that wasn’t my nor her reality. Furthermore, I am not the one to judge what strength looks like for her through my imperfect eyes and I don’t know the specifics as to why certain relationships lasted nor didn’t, being self-righteous ain’t it!

Now, from a different vantage point as a mother of two girls; my goal is to strive towards always being true to myself, whatever the truth for me is in that moment. Being open and welcome to change. I also see that certain choices aren’t always black/white and not every conversation is simple or even within our range to have or handle. Yet, I encourage myself when times are tough and push toward making choices that will resonate with my soul and set my girls and I up for positive, authentic futures.

I know that Eden and Elise will see much of me in themselves and I hope that they love and embrace those parts but I also plan to show them that they are separate from me and have lives to live out on their own. My life is not the model, my role is to teach them based on what I know best and to always communicate at a level of their understanding, transparency, friendship, discipline, self-love and being genuine! Even at the age of 3, I tell my oldest to look in the mirror and speak to herself the words: “I love me”... so even at this young age she sees that self-love is the most important.

To all of us, still looking at our Mothers’

lives as the crystal ball into our own, let’s lay that down for once and for all. Like us, parents are flawed and we will never know the full story; as we didn’t live it, go through it or feel it. I’m agreeing to take the bright spots injected into my life by my Mom, the kindness that she showed, her impeccable taste in music, infectious smile and the loving ways that overshadow anything that I could perceive as negative.

We all have our own story, let’s live ours, be in the present moment to build day by day the gems that we want to show up in our future. Be better for ourselves first then for our children so that they can be better for theirs... better evolves as we do!

Love ya girl!

Candace